I’ve been struggling with patience in the last few months more than I have in my whole 21 years of living (except for maybe when I was like 2 and wanted cake or something). Im at the point in my life where I know exactly what I want and where Id like to be as far as career, location, overall health, travel, and happiness. I see it, its in the future, but I don’t have it. And it is so hard for me to be patient with these desires.
For starters, I have a boyfriend, Dylan. He is amazing, I adore him with my whole being and he is without a doubt the man I will marry. But the issue is I want to marry him now… like right now. I want to start a life with him in marriage dedicating ourselves to God through our marriage. I know that marriage at this exact moment doesn’t make sense, it wouldn’t really be feasible mostly due to financial situations, but Im like ‘hey how about an engagement?’ but I know God told me not now– soon, but not now.
I know what the Lord told me, and yet I can’t seem to find the patience in His perfect timing. Its frustrating for me because Im certain God knows more about anything than anyone, and He will give me the desires of my heart when the time is right.
Another thing I can’t seem to wait for- my career. I know I want to do something involving creativity and social media/ marketing of some sort. I know thats the direction the Lord is leading me at this moment in time, but I want it now. *face palm* WHY AM I SO IMPATIENT?!
Guys, its gotten bad. I just want these things so much that they consume my desires and thoughts much of the time. I know thats unhealthy and I know God wants me to focus on where I am now and the next step He wants me to take, but sometimes its hard for us impatient humans to focus on the next step, opposed to 20 steps from now.
Realistically, for marriage my next step (other than prayer of course), is to save money more than I have been, just to make sure theres more of a cushion financially. For my career the next step I can do is try to expand my YouTube channel (my username is Gabergub, check me out and we can be friends!), as well as keep writing on this blog and searching for other potential paths in this career field.
God, give me patience and trust in You.
My advice- as hard as it may be, pray about your struggle with patience, give it to God. He wants to talk with you about your struggles.
P.S. Happy Easter- He is Risen and that is oh so wonderful.